a million different things

  It was  this past Sunday that  I had rolled out of bed around 1 in the afternoon and purchased a rather delayed dose of coffee. Even though I had slept a total of twelve hours the previous night my body still beckoned for caffeine.  The owner of Legaires was baristing as usual, asked me before ordering my drink if I wanted yesterday's drink order of a carmel late, I replied "nah, im gonna get an iced coffee." He raised an eyebrow at me and stated, " I always try and remember peoples drinks but I guess you're a wild card".  

Wild card - An unpredictable or unforeseeable factor

sounds about right! hahaha

changing

I am now two months and five days into being twenty years old. I  seem to find myself feeling less and less guilty for vocalizing my needs and for standing up for myself. I have always felt semi regretful for saying anything flawed about those who I care about. I believe that some of this inner turmoil stems from my lack of trust in others; thinking that if I said or did something displeasing to them they would walk out of my life forever.  It was easier to just be nice than to cause a conflict, and it is easier, but not always the best way to go about things.